I’ve spilled more beer on my tie than you’ve ever drank.

“If you’re gonna screw it up, screw it up so bad none of the rest of us will wanna try it.”

“…I don’t know man, I just like to steal stuff.”

“Man…nobody in A.A. is not f*cked up…”

I handed my family a big bag of shit and blamed them for having it!

Well…I guess I’m flattered that you think I have that much power.

You’ve gotta let them do their own work..You can’t peel someone else’s onion.

Just because you’ve blocked them, doesn’t mean you’ve gotten over it.

I can play the game of “can you guess what I’m mad at”?

“I can’t think of a time that I’ve ever just been “ok” with what’s been going on..”

Man….it’s hard being an alcoholic sometimes!

“I don’t know man…I like to cuss and spit. I burp and don’t even say ‘sorry’!”

“We were doing ok. I just stopped paying my rent when I started smoking crack.”

“I didn’t do it immediately, but I did it quickly after immediately.”